Chapter 6: Marion's Lookout

The next morning Amy, Lou and Georgie went to Maggie's to get coffee and discuss the conversation that Katie had with Georgie. After Georgie filled the girls in on the conversation Lou said, "Wow, I had no idea that Katie was going through this! I wish she would have come to me before this got out of hand. I wonder if Peter knows?"

Georgie, "I don't think so. I don't think she confided with anyone and has been carrying it around by herself."

Amy, "We have been so busy with everything, I know that I for one have not really paid much attention to her. You know with the twins, Ty's coma and accident, my business. I just haven't really given her any attention."

Lou, "Amy, it is not your fault. I should have been more attentive to her problems, but she is such a strong willed child that I just thought everything was just find. I really feel bad that I did not see any of this!"

Georgie, "We all have neglected Katie, so we need to do something about this."

Amy, "What? If we bombard her with attention, she will know something is up and probably never come to us again."

Lou, "What if we have a trail ride with a camp out. Just us girls. Then we can sit around the fire and discuss things with her more casually. What do you think?

Katie, "I think that is a great idea? What about you Amy?"

Amy still having some issues with her depression say, "I think it IS a great idea. But you know with the twins and everything, I am not sure that I can get away overnight. Why don't you two go. It might be more intimate anyway."

Lou, realizing that it probably would be good for Amy as well, said, "Oh no sister! You are coming if I have to drag you out. I think this would be good for you too!"

Amy, "Ok, I will clear it with Ty."

Katie, "Great, let's do it tomorrow night!"

Georgie convinced Katie that the camp out was more about getting Amy out of the house than an intervention about her problems so she agreed to go along. She then informed the others how she convinced Katie to come along. As they were preparing the horses for the overnight campout, Lou said, "I think this is going to be great! We haven't done anything like this for some time. The weather looks great! Where are you taking us Georgie?"

Georgie, " I thought we would go up to Marion's lookout and camp there. It is so beautiful and we have such a connection to that place."

Amy, still uncertain about the overnight campout, "That is a special place. But don't you think it is a bit far?"

Georgie, "A little, but once we get there it will be awesome!"

Katie, "I don't think I have ever gone up there. Have I?"

Lou, "No, Katie. This will be your first time."

So they mounted the horses and headed toward Marion lookout.

When they arrived, they put up the tents and started a fire between two logs that were perfectly placed there. As they prepared dinner, each was looking out towards the mountains as the sun was setting. The sky lit up like a burst of fire hidden behind pillows of clouds. Lou started the conversation with, "Wow, look how beautiful the sky looks. I can see why mom loved it here."

Amy, "Every time I come here, it brings so much peace to me to know that when mom had problems in her life, she would come here to meditate and find answers. I can feel that she is with us right now enjoying this wonderful view."

Georgie, "Amy, I bet you have been overwhelmed with all that has happened in your life over the past few years. Getting Ty back, the accident, then the twins. I can't imagine how you have been able to cope with all that and still find time to run your business."

Amy, "It has been very difficult. Especially since the twins were born. The doctor said that I would experience some depression with all the problems we had during delivery, but I never thought it would be so tough. I don't tell Ty, but I have really struggled to fight this on my own. Dr. Jones wanted to me to take some medicine to ease the feelings of depression, but I did not want any of that. I wanted to defeat this on my own without drugs. But it is hard. However, sitting here looking out over the mountains, knowing that mom had bigger problems that that to contemplate give me a sense of peace that I haven't had in a long while."

Lou, "Amy, I didn't know you were going through such a tough time. Why didn't you tell me. I would have been there for you. At least a shoulder to cry on!"

Katie was listening to Amy's confession of her depression when she decides to speak up. "Guys, I have to tell you that I am fighting my own issues right now." She begins to talk about her boyfriend and how he introduced her to pot and his sexual advances, like she told Georgie in the barn. "I feel so ashamed that I let him take advantage of me like that. But I really love him."

Lou starts first, "Katie, I think he is your first love, right? If so, we really do some crazy things when we realize love for the first time. I bet each one of us could tell you stories of the stupid things we did because of our first love. Mine was drinking. I remember my first love and I decided to steal some wine from Grandpa and ride into the pasture and drink it. We got so drunk that we could barely get back and when I got home, Grandpa had found out somehow that I had stolen the wine and was there to greet his drunk granddaughter at the door. Thank god he didn't tell mom, or she would have grounded me for a year.

Georgie, "Well, I never had an issue with alcohol but I had a boyfriend that wanted to have sex with me. He continually pushed himself on me when we were together until I finally had to break it off. He became too aggressive and I wasn’t ready to have sex with him.

Lou, "Really, who was it?"

Georgie laughing, "Lou, that will never be divulged! Amy, what about you?"

Amy, "I feel very lucky in that it has always been Ty! My first and last love! We never faced the pot issue, however, I am sure Ty has tried it before he met me, but I never had a desire to drink or do drugs due to the problems mom had with dad. I saw how his drinking and drugs ruined their relationship and never wanted to have that happen to me. As far as sex goes. Well, Ty and I were able to manage that until we were both ready. There were some times when it took everything we had to stop the desire, but we did not give into the desire until we were both ready.

Georgie, "Come on Amy. When did you and Ty first have sex?"

Amy, "That I will not divulge, but I will say when we did, Wow! What an awesome adventure it was!"

Lou, "Adventure?"

Amy, "Couldn't find a word that could describe it!"

Not missing a beat, Lou leans into Katie and says, "Katie, you see, you are not alone with your feelings. We are here to help you talk through them, or just to have a shoulder to cry on. You see, each of us handle the situations differently and I think between the women of this family, we can help you resolve the conflicts that you will face as you grow up.

Katie, "I think this camp out helped me resolve my issues more than helping Amy get out of the house." Each of the girls looked at each other and began to chuckle. "Ok, so this wasn't about Amy. It was about me! Thanks Georgie!" Everyone began to laugh and hug each other.

Then Amy chimed in, "Guys, as much as this was for Katie, coming up here, feeling mom, has helped me to overcome my depression feelings I have been having. I haven't felt this peaceful for some time. I think it was good for both of us Katie!"

So they all gathered in and went to sleep. The next morning feeling refreshed, they packed up and headed back to heartland. Amy was feeling especially grateful that this trip has helped her with the depression that had killed her joy since the birth of the twins and was ready to reengage into motherhood for her precious boys. Katie, Lou and Georgie were happy that everything was out in the open so that they could help get Katie over her relationship issues.

When she arrived home, Amy went into the house were Ty and Lyndi were feeding the twins. Ty, "So how did it go?"

Amy, without hesitation goes to Ty and wraps her arms around him and TJ and gives him a big long kiss. "It was wonderful! We had a chance to talk about all the issues with Katie, and, Ty, I felt such a connection to mom up there that I have found that joy that I lost after the twins were born. I think I might have overcome my depression!"

Ty, "Amy, that is wonderful! I love you so much and hated to see you struggle with that. I am so proud that you were able to overcome the depression on your own, without any medicine. I don't think I could do that."

Amy, "I was about to give in, but being up there. Just knowing that was where mom would go when the world started closing in was so refreshing."

Ty, "Amy, I love you so,so much!"

The next morning Lyndi was up very early doing her chores and helping Amy with the twins. Amy, "Lyndi, I want to tell you something that I haven't said since the boys came. I want to thank you for praying for me when I was having all that trouble with the delivery. When you were praying for your father, I saw how God gave you a peace about the situation. When you and I would pray every night you inspired me to seek out God on my own. Yesterday, we took Katie to your grandmother Marion's lookout. That is where she would go when things got overwhelming. While I was up there, I got this feeling that she was there with me, so I prayed that night that God would take away my depression. I had this peace come over me like never before. I have a renewed since of joy that was missing since we had the twins!"

Lyndi, "Mom, I am so glad that you have made that connection with God! That feeling of peace is something that is unexplainable and I have had a hard time conveying to you and dad how awesome it is.

Amy, "Well, you know your dad prayed one night while we were in the hospital and he told me the same thing. Did you know that?"

Lyndi, "Yes! He told me. I am so happy that I could share that part of my life with my parents and that you guys now understand where my strength comes from."

Amy, "We do, and we are so proud that you have introduced us to this spiritual life that we can count on when things get tough."

Lyndi, "I love you so much!

Amy, grabbing hold of Lyndi and kissing her on the cheek, "I love you, too! To the moon and back!"

That night after the twins had gone down and everyone was asleep, Amy said to Ty, "Hey, How would you like to take a walk with me?"

Ty, "Sounds great, let me get my coat."

The twilight season was in Hudson so there was still light after 10:00. Amy and Ty headed for the lake where they had spent many hours discussing their life plans and working out problems. They came to the old boat and sat down.

Amy, "Ty, I want to tell you something."

Ty, "Ok"

Amy, "Last night after we had our talk out with Katie, I told you that I felt the joy come back into my life again. What I didn't tell you is that I prayed by myself for the first time that God would take away this depression and all of the sudden like a wind blowing across my body I felt this sense of peace overcome me. I think it was like that peace you had at the hospital. I told Lyndi about it this morning and she said that is the same peace she gets when she prays to God about things in our families life and hers. I don't know, but I like this feeling. I feel like myself again, but better!"

Ty, "Amy, since that night, I have started to pray every night about our family and I am having the very same experience. Even though, things happen that we might not be able to control, I still have a peace about my life and our life."

Amy, "Maybe we should consider going to church with Lyndi and see what that is all about."

Ty, "I agree, and I think Lyndi would be so excited that we want to join her."

Amy, "Then it is a plan, let's see if we can make that happen next Sunday."

Ty, "Amy, I love you so much!" Ty then wraps his arms around her and holds her tight as they take in the beauty of the night and the glow of Heartland from the lake.